


If He Didn't Believe in Me

by Katybug1992



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27584891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katybug1992/pseuds/Katybug1992
Summary: If Jaden didn't believe in you, he wouldn't have loved you at all.
Relationships: Jaden Schwartz/Reader
Kudos: 2





	If He Didn't Believe in Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this cover of “If I Didn’t Believe in You” from Last Five Years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7PhbWWFA9s
> 
> Transferring from my Tumblr

Another tour company. Another chorus role. Woman #3, to be exact. Couldn’t even land Woman #1. Not even an understudy role. Not even dance captain. That went to the kid who had just graduated from Tisch and had already done a couple months in a Broadway production. And it was frustrating. Nothing you’ve done in the last six years has been good enough to push you past touring shows. 

Meanwhile Jaden… Jaden was doing what he always said he would - he may not have believed it would be a reality, but he still always said he would play hockey. And Jaden had grown from a rookie to being a leader on the team. And quietly making a place for himself in the record books. Succeeding. He won the Cup, recorded two hat tricks in that play-off run. 

And you are so proud of him. Because you love him. But… you just thought it would be easier. After all, you did a couple local theater productions in Saint Louis at the Rep (your Evita got rave reviews) and had success. Got a couple leading roles and thought your career was about to take off when your agent approached you with a couple auditions for touring productions. And Jaden had been so excited for you, regardless of knowing that that would mean you didn’t see each other a lot. And he was excited for you because this was your dream. The dream you told him about that first time you met - at a party in college. 

The dream you were still chasing. And that was something that you felt Jaden couldn’t understand. Jaden, who was already drafted to the NHL when you had met. Jaden, who could decide the next day to join the NHL. Jaden, who had caught his dream and was eager to watch you catch yours.

“You ready to go?” Jaden asked, popping his head in the Studio. The minute you said you would join him in Saint Louis, he had turned one of the spare bedrooms in the condo into a rehearsal space for you. A nice stereo, so you could practice the music. A mirror, so you could work on choreography. He wanted to give you every bit of advantage he could.

“No,” you responded, shaking your head, “I’m not going.”

“What do you mean?” Jaden asked, stepping into the room.

“I have to get back to my agent,” you mumbled, “let him know if I’m taking this role or not.”

“You got the part!?” Jaden’s face lit up when he asked the question, the way it always had when you landed a role.

“It’s another tour, just a chorus role,” you replied, “I may not take it. After all, if I was made for a leading role then I would have gotten it by now.”

“What do you mean you would’ve gotten it by now?”

“I’m clearly not good enough, Jaden,” you sighed, sinking down into the desk chair, “So, I’m not going. You have fun, though.”

“Just… I want you there with me,” Jaden tried one more time.

“Why is it so important to you?” you raised your voice and you knew this was going to dissolve.

“Because we’re celebrating my 500th game,” Jaden replied, “regular season games… Steener insisted on a party and I want to celebrate with you.”

“Well, I’m not going,” you sniffed and avoided looking at him, crossing your arms.

Jaden sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Okay. Just… the party’s at Steener’s. Come by later, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Hmm.”

“Look, I know you’re not happy about the role. But you were really excited to audition for this show. If you really don’t want it, then there’s always the next audition. You’re good.”

“What do you know?”

“I play in the NHL”

“The difference, Jaden, is that you would still be good enough, no matter where you played. You would still be a player a kid pointed to and said ‘I wanna be like him’. Me? I’ll be in the background. I’ll be a character that doesn’t even have a name. I’ll be an Alto, so I don’t even get the melody on any of the songs, or the fun harmonies. I’ll be part of the background.”

“Extra development is always good.”

“So, what? I need to be ‘developed’? That’s why I’m always -”

“Don’t put words in my mouth. I’m trying to help you.”

“Well, you can’t. My agent suggested I move to New York. That it might be able to help, I would be able to go to more auditions.”

“We can make distance work.”

“Or you could come with me.”

“You want me to request a trade to New York?”

“I mean -”

“I… I would do anything for you. You know I would. But….”

“Then maybe I’ll go on my own.”

“Just - … let’s talk about this tomorrow. If you want to go to New York, then I will fully support you. We can do distance.”

Before you could respond, Jaden turned and left, the sound of the front door closing followed shortly after. To go to his party. His party to celebrate a major milestone in his career. The celebration he wanted you to go to with him. Because it was important to him.

Because he would do the same for you. He made a big deal out of every show you were cast in. He was always so proud of you. When your parents told you that maybe it was time to move onto something else, he believed in you. He had always believed in you.

And it wouldn’t be fair to him. It wouldn’t be fair to him to ask him to leave a team - a family - that he loved so much just so you could attempt to make it in New York. It wouldn’t be fair to make him be the one to make the sacrifice for you. But you know he would. You know that if you told him the options were New York with you or Saint Louis without you… he would choose you. Because he believed in you. He wanted you to succeed. But more importantly, he wanted to be there to see it. 

If he hadn’t believed in you, he wouldn’t have stayed with you. He wouldn’t have created a rehearsal space in his home for you. He wouldn’t have looked at his schedule and your tour dates last year and carefully found all the days your schedules overlapped so that he could make sure that you saw each other. He wouldn’t have been okay with you missing the Ring Ceremony because you had the chance to audition for a show in Chicago.

Throughout his whole career, he had supported you. Supported you through every audition, through every role, through every city you performed in. He came to see you perform every chance he got. He enjoyed listening to you practice. He happily played nurse for you when you sprained your ankle after a wonky landing while practicing a jump, even though he was the one who was currently missing time due to a broken ankle. An injury you weren’t home to help with at the beginning because you were in a production of Guys and Dolls in fucking Ohio.

If he didn’t believe in you...he wouldn’t have loved you at all. 

And you knew what the right thing to do was. So you called your agent.

+

“Hi,” you said softly as you walked over.

Jaden turned around and looked surprised for a minute before his face broke into a wide grin and his arms wrapped around you.

“I thought you -”

“I’m not taking the tour,” you said into his shoulder, hugging him tightly, “And I don’t want to go to New York.”

You could feel Jaden sag with relief and you knew you had made the right decision.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked.

“I want to stay here. I want to support you the way you have always supported me,” you pulled back to look at him, “There’s theaters around town. I can audition for productions here. I can give voice and dance lessons.”

“I’ll help you in any way I can,” Jaden responded, kissing your forehead.

“Just… keep believing me?”

“I will always believe in you.”

You smiled up at and blinked away the tears that had started forming. You got really lucky in the boyfriend department. Jaden had done so much for you and you decided it was time to start returning the favor.


End file.
